Vilbassben is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, benevolent mink.

Vilbassben created the Cigar Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilbassben, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vilbassben, she will ignore you.

Vilbassben's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Vilbassben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Vilbassben must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Never mention mites.

5. You must pray to Vilbassben nine times a day.