Bintonktamsin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-knowing hummingbird.

Bintonktamsin created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bintonktamsin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bintonktamsin, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bintonktamsin's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bintonktamsin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Worship no other gods but Bintonktamsin.

5. Do not chop down trees.