Flowvogkantom is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, all-powerful whale.

Flowvogkantom created the planet Jupiter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowvogkantom, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flowvogkantom, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flowvogkantom's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Flowvogkantom's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flowvogkantom.

2. Never think ill of sick turtles.

3. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.