Tallencad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, benevolent octopus.

Tallencad created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tallencad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tallencad, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tallencad's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Tallencad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. You must love Tallencad.

3. Hide from turquoise geese for they are unholy.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Run away from pink tapirs, for they are unholy.