Mumcamdog is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, selfish hippopotamus.

Mumcamdog created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumcamdog, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Mumcamdog, it will throw large rocks at you.

Mumcamdog's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Mumcamdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Mumcamdog on top of all buildings.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not take Mumcamdog's name in vain.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.