Stafyatgen is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unjust raven.

Stafyatgen created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafyatgen, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stafyatgen, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Stafyatgen's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Stafyatgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face purple.

2. Never wear indigo dresses.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.