Bethanmum is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, able armadillo.

Bethanmum created carbon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bethanmum, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bethanmum, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bethanmum's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bethanmum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tapirs in need.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Foxes are not to be trusted.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.