Lagcinmad is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient hyena.

Lagcinmad created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagcinmad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lagcinmad, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Lagcinmad's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Lagcinmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lagcinmad.

3. Hide if eight ducks approach from the west.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Pray towards the south.