Fudlarpquart Tarpfagfab is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, happy seal.

Fudlarpquart Tarpfagfab created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fudlarpquart Tarpfagfab, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Fudlarpquart Tarpfagfab, he will cry a lot.

Fudlarpquart Tarpfagfab's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Fudlarpquart Tarpfagfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to eagles while wearing pink ear rings.

2. Always treat geese with great respect.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Do not eat bread.