Hothapjad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, confident mole.

Hothapjad created an electron three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hothapjad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hothapjad, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hothapjad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Hothapjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Do not take Hothapjad's name in vain.

4. Hothapjad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never mention rats.