Vanappfed is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, weak seal.

Vanappfed created Mount Everest four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanappfed, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vanappfed, he will laugh at you.

Vanappfed's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Vanappfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bread.

2. Never laugh in the presence of tortoises.

3. Never wear brown tights.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Erect seven lead sculptures of Vanappfed on top of important buildings.