Vabsandad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, almighty squid.

Vabsandad created Mount Everest five million years ago.

If you believe in Vabsandad, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vabsandad, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vabsandad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Vabsandad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not hurt aardvarks.

4. Vabsandad loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about galaxies.