Vandotcen is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sapient wolf.

Vandotcen created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vandotcen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vandotcen, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vandotcen's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Vandotcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Always wear violet.

3. Vandotcen loves snakes, so they must be respected.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not stand on grass.