Talxem is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, narcissistic walrus.

Talxem created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talxem, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Talxem, he will think nothing of it.

Talxem's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Talxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

5. Never eat green fruit.