Mutkenster is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, cheerful duck.

Mutkenster created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutkenster, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mutkenster, she will be very sad.

Mutkenster's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Mutkenster's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Hide if nine porpoises approach from the east.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Put Mutkenster first in all things.