Cibkimflat is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, confident gnu.

Cibkimflat created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cibkimflat, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cibkimflat, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Cibkimflat's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cibkimflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Always help snails in need.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Run away from magenta tapirs, for they are unholy.

5. Never feed grapes to hamsters while wearing indigo stockings.