Zistmotvid is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, happy faun.

Zistmotvid created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Zistmotvid, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Zistmotvid, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zistmotvid's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Zistmotvid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Do not kill monkeys.

3. Worship no other gods but Zistmotvid.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about cell theory.