Cuthugstik is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish hamster.

Cuthugstik created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cuthugstik, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cuthugstik, he will think nothing of it.

Cuthugstik's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cuthugstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Run away if eight nematodes approach from the north.

4. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

5. Always obey Cuthugstik's priests.