Tonkquillflig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, weak coyote.

Tonkquillflig created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkquillflig, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tonkquillflig, she will throw large rocks at you.

Tonkquillflig's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tonkquillflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near squirrels.

2. Erect four silicon sculptures of Tonkquillflig on top of important buildings.

3. Never hurt tapirs.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always help grasshopers in need.