Titarfcanrapfabsandtofnel is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage turtle.

Titarfcanrapfabsandtofnel created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Titarfcanrapfabsandtofnel, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Titarfcanrapfabsandtofnel, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Titarfcanrapfabsandtofnel's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Titarfcanrapfabsandtofnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Never paint your feet black.

4. Always look after injured snails.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Titarfcanrapfabsandtofnel on top of all buildings.