Jatlidpom is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering centaur.

Jatlidpom created a photon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatlidpom, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jatlidpom, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Jatlidpom's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Jatlidpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about manatees.

2. Never mention gulls.

3. Always help sick sheep.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always obey Jatlidpom's priests.