Titlabfas Podtargovig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, calm bear.

Titlabfas Podtargovig created the Whirlpool Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Titlabfas Podtargovig, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Titlabfas Podtargovig, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Titlabfas Podtargovig's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Titlabfas Podtargovig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Retreat if three dogs approach from the west.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.