Doncetbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, impressive centaur.

Doncetbarn created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Doncetbarn, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Doncetbarn, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Doncetbarn's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Doncetbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must pray to Doncetbarn four times a day.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.