Xenmilxin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, humorless alligator.

Xenmilxin created the Black Eye Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenmilxin, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xenmilxin, she will turn you into a goat.

Xenmilxin's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Xenmilxin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Xenmilxin three times a day.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Run away if nine aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Never bounce near sharks.