Bassxuckflam is a god.

He takes the form of a large, omnipotent owl.

Bassxuckflam created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassxuckflam, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bassxuckflam, he will turn you into a tree.

Bassxuckflam's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bassxuckflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt doves.

2. Never jump near moths.

3. You must love Bassxuckflam.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Do not wear red clothing.