Bumfetyarpvad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, staggering whale.

Bumfetyarpvad created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumfetyarpvad, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bumfetyarpvad, it will send you a sign.

Bumfetyarpvad's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bumfetyarpvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never wear violet tights.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Feed all hungry capybaras.