Kabflybad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish squid.

Kabflybad created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kabflybad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kabflybad, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kabflybad's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Kabflybad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.