Watkimtom is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating lion.

Watkimtom created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watkimtom, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Watkimtom, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Watkimtom's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Watkimtom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not listen to music.