Godlakmis is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, charitable hedgehog.

Godlakmis created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Godlakmis, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Godlakmis, she will turn you into a plant.

Godlakmis' most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Godlakmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.