Tomyiklabgutmatgedcadtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ruthless cow.

Tomyiklabgutmatgedcadtonk created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomyiklabgutmatgedcadtonk, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tomyiklabgutmatgedcadtonk, she will not invite you to parties.

Tomyiklabgutmatgedcadtonk's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Tomyiklabgutmatgedcadtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray nematodes, for they are unholy.

2. Do not take Tomyiklabgutmatgedcadtonk's name in vain.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.