Libwapmum is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witless ferret.

Libwapmum created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Libwapmum, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Libwapmum, he will laugh at you.

Libwapmum's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Libwapmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention whales.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Never eat pineapples.

5. Never eat green fruit.