Stipshavhitcuss Yakdontarwik is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, compassionate snake.

Stipshavhitcuss Yakdontarwik created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipshavhitcuss Yakdontarwik, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Stipshavhitcuss Yakdontarwik, she will turn you into a rock.

Stipshavhitcuss Yakdontarwik's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Stipshavhitcuss Yakdontarwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Never mention voles.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help sick mites.