Cappitlen is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, self-confident hamster.

Cappitlen created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cappitlen, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cappitlen, it will curse you with boils.

Cappitlen's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Cappitlen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Cappitlen loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.