Timgepcap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, impressive narwhal.

Timgepcap created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timgepcap, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Timgepcap, she will turn you into a mole.

Timgepcap's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Timgepcap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not take Timgepcap's name in vain.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Fast once a month.