Loopcamhit is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, astonishing crab.

Loopcamhit created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopcamhit, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Loopcamhit, it will boil you in a big pot.

Loopcamhit's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Loopcamhit's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

2. Always obey Loopcamhit's priests.

3. Otters are not to be trusted.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.