Kempangzed is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, astonishing chinchilla.

Kempangzed created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kempangzed, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kempangzed, he will laugh at you.

Kempangzed's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Kempangzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed strawberries to voles while wearing brown rings.