Cisspadbun Tonkhennut is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, conceited centipede.

Cisspadbun Tonkhennut created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cisspadbun Tonkhennut, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cisspadbun Tonkhennut, she will turn you into a hamster.

Cisspadbun Tonkhennut's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Cisspadbun Tonkhennut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Do not speak about parsnips.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.