Lopstippop is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tiresome hippopotamus.

Lopstippop created time and space two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopstippop, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lopstippop, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Lopstippop's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Lopstippop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about squirrels.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look after injured doves.

5. Do not eat corn.