Citkenzen is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, merciful pig.

Citkenzen created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Citkenzen, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Citkenzen, it will turn you into a duck.

Citkenzen's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Citkenzen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

2. Never think ill of sick gulls.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always help ants in need.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.