Monvonneg is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awesome snake.

Monvonneg created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Monvonneg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Monvonneg, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Monvonneg's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Monvonneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Monvonneg loves bats, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.