Vilcapflapved is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, deceitful seal.

Vilcapflapved created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilcapflapved, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vilcapflapved, it will manifest in front of you.

Vilcapflapved's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Vilcapflapved's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not take Vilcapflapved's name in vain.