Cimkadzog Pingenbod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic human.

Cimkadzog Pingenbod created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cimkadzog Pingenbod, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cimkadzog Pingenbod, he will have a low opinion of you.

Cimkadzog Pingenbod's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Cimkadzog Pingenbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always wear turquoise.