Jigpibhim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, effective bear.

Jigpibhim created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jigpibhim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jigpibhim, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Jigpibhim's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Jigpibhim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Do not eat nuts.