Sinwonvog is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, resourceful bat.

Sinwonvog created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Sinwonvog, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sinwonvog, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Sinwonvog's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Sinwonvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nematodes.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

3. Always wear fawn.

4. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about stars.