Yatvog is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, proud shrew.

Yatvog created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatvog, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yatvog, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Yatvog's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Yatvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange shirts.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Never eat bark.