Tarpfengub is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, cheerful jackal.

Tarpfengub created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfengub, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tarpfengub, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tarpfengub's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tarpfengub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat corn.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never laugh in holy places.