Vondisskem is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish owl.

Vondisskem created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vondisskem, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vondisskem, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Vondisskem's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Vondisskem's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mice.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always obey Vondisskem's priests.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help tapirs in need.