Labrapmif is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, two-faced dryad.

Labrapmif created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labrapmif, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Labrapmif, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Labrapmif's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Labrapmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Labrapmif.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Labrapmif on top of all buildings.

5. Do not eat pineapples.