Spagarpfom is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, two-faced lizard.

Spagarpfom created the Large Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagarpfom, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Spagarpfom, she will turn you into a rat.

Spagarpfom's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Spagarpfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Hide if eight shrews approach from the east.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.