Ditingrutlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, weak snake.

Ditingrutlarp created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Ditingrutlarp, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ditingrutlarp, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ditingrutlarp's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Ditingrutlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ditingrutlarp.

2. Do not take Ditingrutlarp's name in vain.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never look at stars.